Light a Fire, and Light it in Me

I started a fire in my chemistry lab today...

We were supposed to collect methane gas in a tube under water - my problem was I turned the gas on while the hose was still lying on the counter out of the water. Burst of flame! I quickly turned the gas off, and it was out by the time the professor called "I smell something burning!"

I'm not doing very well in chemistry lab!!

Interestingly, lately I have felt led to pray for the Lord to send "fire." It began when I was sick, and in my feverish rantings I woke up twice praying that He would "light a fire." I didn't know when I woke up what that meant. Later that same day I read from Ezekiel

"Behold, I will kindle a fire in you, and it shall devour every green tree in you and every dry tree. The blazing flame shall not be quenched, and all faces from south to north shall be scorched by it. All flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it; it shall not be quenched."
-Ezekiel 20:47-48

This coming after my feverish prayer inspired me to begin a study on fire. Among the types of fire in the Bible are the Refiner's fire, the judgement fire, and the fire of our love for Him. I could see how much I needed His fire, and I began to pray in earnest that my Lord would light whatever fire He pleased in me.

This is still my prayer. I need His fire, I need it to sweep through devouring every green and dry tree in me. I need His refining fire, I need His chastening flame. I need a rekindling of my love for Him. And I pray that this fire is never quenched.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
-Isaiah 43:2

It is so comforting to know He is present in the fire. He is with me, upholding me, and He chastens those whom He loves.

Meanwhile - I suppose I'm just not cut out for a scientist!

"One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple."
-Psalm 27:4

"He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."

-Isaiah 53:3-5

I love this whole chapter... it is so beautiful. How precious and almost inconceiveable to think of the One who will not break a bruised reed allowing Himself to be bruised and crushed for us!

"Yet we considered Him stricken by God" we turned our heads, we mocked and jeered. We cast lots for His clothing - meanwhile He was forfeiting His holy sinless life for our wretchedly corrupt lives.

What a picture of love!

Smoldering Wick

I've said that my method for survival as a working student is caffeine, chocolate, and adrenaline. Well, after being sick for a month now caffeine keeps me awake at night, chocolate is making me sick, and I ran out of adrenaline several weeks ago. It's called BURNOUT - and I'm so physically and mentally exhausted I've been going through the motions of life automatically. Yesterday someone shut a door in my face and I thanked him for it. I wasn't being sarcastic - it was just automatic and my brain didn't connect that no, he didn't hold it open for me... he let it slam. He responded with a "you're welcome" - not sure what that was about but maybe he was burned out too! :)

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice." -Isaiah 42:3

I am comforted in the knowledge that He does know and care. I know He will help me through the rest of this semester. I've been praying for brokenness - yet He knows when I am already too bruised and He is so gentle with the bruised reed. I may be burning out but He is guarding my wick and with His help it shall be fanned into a steady flame.

My wick is sustained by my Lord!